An Interview With the Owner of My Favorite Vape Shop
During a year that has felt at times like one unending root canal, one of the few pleasures that have made my existence a little more bearable has been cheap vape deals. I’ve spent a good part of 2018 enveloped in a gentle haze, like living in my own personal mist-ladened Turner painting.
There are few places where I haven’t vaped in 2018—I’ve vaped at my desk, in the Gizmodo Media Group bathrooms (sorry, Univision), in airplane bathrooms (sorry, JetBlue) and in airport bathrooms (sorry, Port Authority of New York and New Jersey). I vape in the mornings and vape in the evenings and in all of the hours in between. I am vaping while writing these very words.
I’m never without my vape, or rather, my vapes—a slim, discreet Juul and a proudly unstylish rainbow-colored brick-like SMOK (pronounced, I’m assuming, like “smoke” but possibly “smock”) X-Priv, which looks like a unicorn barfed all over a Nokia phone from the ’90s, doubles as a weapon (this baby is heavy), and has about 20 adjustable settings that I’ve yet to fully decipher. Unlike one of my friends, I do not have a room in my apartment solely devoted to my vape paraphernalia (he has, sadly, recently been forced to turn his vape cave into a baby nursery). But like him, this year, I’ve acquired numerous bottles of variously flavored juices, an assortment of tanks and coils, and the alarming penchant to casually ask other vapers, “What’s your favorite mod?”
Here is where I’m obligated to state that if you are not already a cigarette smoker, I would not recommend picking up vaping (while decidedly healthier than smoking, the long-term health effects of vaping are still unknown). And unlike what some adults and an alarmingly large number of teenagers believe, I do not think vaping makes me look cool. A serious interest in vaping, after all, requires you to become intimately acquainted with brands that have names like SMOK and VooPoo and with shops named Vape Daddy’s and Planet of the Vapes, which anyone with a shred of self-respect would, in normal circumstances, take care to avoid.
And yet, in 2018, it made a lot of sense to replace a habit that would definitely shorten my lifespan if not kill me outright with its simulacra that maybe would not. I first vaped when a friend of mine gifted me a Juul in early 2016. After a few pleasant minty puffs, I promptly put it away in a drawer and didn’t think about it again until this year, when I noticed that one of the consequences of a Trump presidency was a marked increase in my cigarette intake, an uptick that was only alarming my dentist and making me feel terrible and tired all of the time. While there’s no good time to quit smoking, our current moment definitely felt like a bad time to try quitting cold turkey, so I brought the Juul out from retirement and bought some cucumber-flavored pods (my favorite, the flavor of which Jezebel editor-in-chief Julianne Escobedo Shepherd described as “the crispness of the mint but with a clean overtone that implies a nice plate of crudités or a raw vegan coleslaw”).
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